Critics might claim New York's a Neverland for the trust fund set. But being an adult here is hard work, what with the crowded commutes, high rents, and long brunch lines we're forced to endure post-graduation. Though Cher says you can't turn back time, there are plenty of ways to reconnect with a childhood long-gone, with a whole slew of camp-and-afterschool-like classes geared for adults—plus, since we're all big kids here, lots of these involve booze. Here are our favorite kiddie classes for adults in the city; leave yours in the comments.
DRINK AND MAKE ART: The Painting Lounge has locations in Manhattan and Brooklyn, but a cop raid of the Williamsburg outpost in 2013 brought that establishment’s BYOB policy to an abrupt end. Luckily (your own) wine still flows freely in Manhattan, where beginners with impressive attention spans recreate masterpieces like Andy Warhol’s “Flowers” in just two hours, for $50. For those craving more artistic freedom (or, let’s be honest, those with thinner wallets) there’s the late 3rd Ward’s weekly Drink n’ Draw, now hosted at Bat Haus in Bushwick on Wednesday nights from 8 to 10:30 p.m. The $10 admission includes unlimited beer, and face time with a professional (nude) model. (Emma Whitford)
The Painting Lounge is located at 40 West 38th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues in Midtown (212-518-1803, paintinglounge.com). Bat Haus is located at 279 Starr Street, between Wyckoff and St. Nicholas Avenues in Bushwick, Brooklyn (917-865-8660, bathaus.com).
Via Yelp
BYOB COOKING CLASSES: Chelsea cooking school Taste Buds Kitchen specializes in hosting cutesy classes and parties for budding child chefs. But if you're a grown-up looking for some lessons in the kitchen, Taste Buds offers classes in everything from tapas to pasta, to sushi and dumplings, with prices ranging around $75 per person. Of course, learning is much harder when your brain's full-grown, and luckily TasteBuds lets you pair the instruction with your own adult beverage. Be careful with the knives once you've imbibed. (Rebecca Fishbein)
Taste Buds Kitchen is located at 109 West 27th Street between 6th and 7th Avenues in Chelsea (212-242-2248, tastebudskitchen.com).
NEW YORK LIGHTSABER ACADEMY: In a city riddled with overbooked and competitive SoulCycle classes full of judgy hardbodies, New York Jedi’s lightsaber classes have offered, since 2005, a geeky (read: friendly) workout that combines cosplay and martial art techniques. Classes are led by "Certified Light Saber Instructors" who teach basic thrusts, ducks and martial arts moves at the beginning of each class. Star Wars-obsessed students (the Jedis don’t discriminate, but classes tend to attract those of the George Lucas persuasion) are encouraged to invent their own hero characters—characters they embody in choreographed partner fight scenes at the end of each class. And while your yoga instructor might preach breathing techniques to practice while smooshed between briefcases on the A train, the Jedis teach how to navigate New York by The Force—even when there’s no saber on hand to jab. (Emma Whitford)
New York Lightsaber Academy meets at Studio 16F/G at the Ripley Grier Studios, 520 8th Avenue between 36th and 37th Streets in Midtown (newyorkjedi.com).
THE TRAPEZE SCHOOL OF NEW YORK: If you're too cool to visit Magnolia, but not cool enough to stop watching Sex And The City, check out the Trapeze School of New York, where notable alumni include Carrie Bradshaw. The TSNY has three locations where you can work the flying trapeze, static trapeze, and trampoline. From October to April, classes are offered indoors at the Circus Warehouse in Long Island City. In the summer, TSNY operates outdoors at Pier 40 and Pier 16, giving students the chance to fly through the air while admiring skyline views, high above the heads of sweaty tourists. Each class has around ten students, and—unlike some of the other Best Ofs on this list—boasts a strict no drugs or alcohol policy. Trapeze instruction costs between $50 and $70 for all skill sets, while trampoline is a set $40. You can see a class schedule here. (Abigail Rowe)
The Trapeze School of New York is located at 353 West Street near Hudson River Park (212-242-8769, newyork.trapezeschool.com).
(Stephen Rex Brown)
TAXIDERMY: The Morbid Anatomy Museum's resident taxidermist Divya Anantharaman has long been a lynchpin of the rogue taxidermy scene, and now you can take a class with the pro preserver herself. Every month she offers a few classes that will show you how to stuff everything from (one or two-headed) mice to "fancy" pigeons to tarantulas. Check out the upcoming schedule to purchase tickets, or just join the mailing list to learn about other upcoming classes. And leave your heebie-jeebie misgivings at home—everything is legally and ethically sourced for your anatomical needs. (Sandra Song)
The Morbid Anatomy Museum is located at 424-A 3rd Avenue between 6th and 7th Streets in Gowanus, Brooklyn (d-i-v-y-a.com/Bones-Skulls-Classes).
GYMNASTICS: Once upon a time, my bendy 8-year-old body was able to cartwheel and handstand at will. In yoga class the other day, hoisting myself into a wheelbarrow was an impossible task. Our creaky old joints will probably never be as springy as they were back before adolescence, but the adult gymnastic classes Chelsea Piers will do their best to help you relive your balance beam glory days. Beginners can learn (or relearn) gymnastics moves on mats, trampolines, balance beams, parallel and uneven bars, with instructors and spotters on hand to make sure you don't break any of your fragile adult bones. Classes are also available for gymnasts with advanced skill, though don't attempt those if you've let at least a decade pass without doing a tumble or two. Classes run $30 for a single-session, though class cards and specialty sessions are available as well. (Rebecca Fishbein)
Gymnastics classes are held at the Chelsea Piers Field House at 62 Chelsea Piers (212-336-6500, chelseapiers.com/fh).
BYOB POTTERY: Getting boozed and baked—what more could you ask for? Take advantage of Baked in Brooklyn's special Adult Party option, to which you can (obviously) BYOB. In need of a new highball? Or an extremely fragile flask? Well then break out the champagne and throw some ceramic masterpieces under the influence. You knead (sorry) this in your social calendar. (Sandra Song)
Baked in Brooklyn is located at 242 Wythe Avenue between North 3rd and 4th Streets in Williamsburg, Brookyn (718-384-2300, baked-in-brooklyn.com).
MODERN PINBALL: Steve Zahler, cofounder of this all-ages, pay-by-the-hour pinball haven in Murray Hill, also happens to be ranked 30th in the world among professional pinball players. (In case you were wondering, there are 30,000 of them total.) In private lessons (from $30 for 45 minutes) Zahler teaches his students zen techniques--which, he promises, help players focus on the spin and direction of the ball--and flipper skills for transferring the ball from one flipper to the other. Zahler has also been known to open up the Addams Family, or the Simpsons, or the Walking Dead machine to reveal its guts—over 2,000 parts—and point out the half-mile of wire nestled within. Date lessons are particularly popular, during which Zahler urges couples to play each other both before and after his tutoring, to gauge their improvement. And for those with a competitive spirit, Modern’s spring league starts on May 20th. For $15 a week players buy into the prize pool, and play unlimited from 6:00 until midnight on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. (Emma Whitford)
Modern Pinball is located at 362 Third Avenue, between 26th and 27th Streets (646-415-8440; modernpinballnyc.com).
JEWELRY-MAKING: Forget the lanyard and alphabet beads—at Brooklyn Metal Works, DIY jewelry is serious business. The metalworks studio in Prospect Heights offers classes in wax working, enameling, goldsmithing, and interior lighting (neon!) If you're intimidated by these scary jewelry-making terms, note that all classes are open to beginners, and after eight weeks, you'll be able to solder with the best of them.
The introductory course, "Welcome to BMKW: Jewelry Monday," covers basic metalsmithing skills like sawing, filing, forming, soldering, and design. These are practical things to know whether or not you're jeweling, and getting a new pair of earrings out of it is just an added bonus. The supply list includes saw blades, sandpaper grits, needle nose tweezers, and drill bits—basically, everything you couldn't play with as a kid (plus fire!) Jewelry Monday is $400 for eight classes, plus the cost of supplies. Still, at $50 a week, it's cheaper than summer camp. (Abigail Rowe)
