Because 2001's Jurassic Park III was pretty much Citizen Kane II, director Steven Spielberg announced at San Diego's Comic Con yesterday that he already has a "story and a screenwriter" for Jurassic Park 4, and that according to OTRC, "the film will hopefully come together in the next two or three years." Presumably Spielberg's decision has nothing to do with the $368 million Jurassic Park III made worldwide, and it's totally about ahhrrrttt.
The decision to "re-boot the Jurassic Park franchise" was first reported last month, and it's worth noting that the "reanimate old classics to the point of self-parody" move is a old hat for Spielberg and pal George Lucas. Following the release of the miserable fourth Indiana Jones film South Park had a field day in an infamous episode in which the director and George Lucas take turns raping Indiana Jones and a stormtrooper.
And there's even better news for those who like to pay money to see things they've already seen dozens of times before, but better: Spielberg "discussed the possibility of converting some of his classic films to 3-D and mentioned Jaws and Jurassic Park as possible candidates." We grew up on Jurassic Park, and have dreams in which Samuel L. Jackson murmurs, "Hold on to your butts" as raptors chase us through an industrial kitchen. And that theme song has inspired a generation. But unless Tarantino is directing it, there's probably no good reason to make a fourth Jurassic Park. Stay tuned for our own upcoming sequel: Shawshank Redemption II: Return To Shawshank.
