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Weekend Movie Forecast: Notorious, My Bloody Valentine 3D

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Brooklyn's own Jamal âGravyâ Woolard plays Biggie Smalls in Notorious, a biopic <a href="http://gothamist.com/2009/01/08/less_money_less_problems.php">about the late rapper's life</a> that opens today. Chris Richards <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/gog/movies/notorious,1105705.html">at the Washington Post</a> pans it, calling the script "lousy" and warning that "those trailers on YouTube may look promising, but don't believe the hype. Notorious... feels like Biggie's Wikipedia page reformatted for the big screen. No era of the iconic Brooklyn rapper's 24 years goes untouched, making a frustrating dash from the playground to the grave, all in less than two hours."

Gothamist

Reviews are scant for <a href="http://www.mybloodyvalentinein3d.com">My Bloody Valentine 3D</a>; it's one of those pieces of crap the studio doesn't bother screening for critics, since the flick's target audience couldn't care less what Manohla Dargis thinks anyway. But here's what one Peter Sobczynski wrote <a href="http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=17503&reviewer=389">on efilmcritic.com</a>: "There really isnât much more to say about âMy Bloody Valentine 3-Dâthose viewers who are fans of trashy horror films are likely to love it (assuming that they are able to see it in 3-D) while those who arenât are advised to avoid it at all costs. It is trash, of course, but it is undeniably entertaining trash for the most part and after spending a couple of months watching one piece of self-important Oscar bait after another, its blend of blood, guts and gratuitous nudity (the latter supplied by starlet Betsy Rue in a performance that is sure to be hailed as one of the all-time greats by Mr. Skin) does come as a strangely welcome respite from all the cinematic seriousness of late."

Gothamist

In Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Kevin James plays the titular security guard whose dreams of joining the police are foiled by a hypoglycemic condition that causes him to pass out in "ostensibly hilarious contexts," writes <a href="http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/01/16/movies/16paul.html?ref=movies">Nathan Lee at the Times</a>. His deliciously scathing review continues: "Fat people are funny. Fat people who fall over are funnier. Fat people who fall over and have humiliating working-class jobs? Stop, youâre killing me! This would seem to be the entire guiding principle behind Paul Blart: Mall Cop a tossed-off comedy from Adam Sandlerâs production company that makes one long for the comparative genius of I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry."

Gothamist

Doris DÃ¶rrie's quiet film Cherry Blossoms concerns a German man's transformative journey to Japan, where his recently deceased wife had always longed to visit. <a href="http://www.timeout.com/film/newyork/reviews/86556/cherry_blossoms.html">Mark Holcomb at Time Out NY says</a> that despite the first third of the film being a rip-off of 1953 art-house classic Tokyo Story, "Cherry Blossoms fortunately sidesteps rank mimicry in favor of wry homage and something more...In the vein of Ozu, DÃ¶rrie finds grace and bittersweet humor in the muted pain and moot dignity of modern life, but the similarities end there: To my knowledge, the Japanese masterâs leading men never donned their leading ladiesâ clothes, nor would doing so have seemed as absurdly, movingly spot-on."

Gothamist

Go play in traffic, Marley & Me; this weekend America's booking a suite at Hotel for Dogs. The less said about this tripe the better, agreed? <a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20252476,00.html">Even Entertainment Weekly</a> was insulted: "Marking its territory in the mind-boggling â¨ middle ground between Schindler's List and Beverly Hills Chihuahua, the cartoonish kid pic Hotel for Dogs â adapted from the â¨ award-winning 1971 children's book â turns out to be a weirdly oblivious Holocaust parable about a sibling duo of righteous dog-â¨ophiles (Emma Roberts and Jake T. Austin) â¨bent on rescuing strays from systematic â¨ execution at the hands of Gestapo-like dog catchers. But don't worry. There are still cuddly pups and piddle jokes aplenty."

Gothamist

Craig Baldwin's Mock Up on Mu premiered here last fall in the New York Film Festival's avant-garde sidebar; the found footage/original action mash-up is now screening in a week's run at Anthology Film Archives. <a href="http://www.villagevoice.com/2009-01-14/film/craig-baldwin-s-mock-up-and-mu-unlocks-and-mocks-the-mysteries-of-scientology/">J. Hoberman at the Village Voice</a> calls it "a modern American myth fashioned from all manner of cultural detritus, notably the prehistory of the sci-fi religion Scientology...This mocking 'mock-up' is a mixture of conscious and unconscious primitivismâas though Ed Wood Jr. had attempted to film a script by Thomas Pynchon about a script Pynchon secretly wrote to be adapted by Wood."

Gothamist

Chandni Chowk to China is the first Bollywood movie to be financed and distributed by Warner Brothers; the film blends kung fu, comedy, dance and melodrama to achieve what <a href="http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/01/16/movies/16chan.html?ref=movies">Rachel Saltz at the Times</a> calls an "enjoyable if slight Saturday-matinee picture...In a film impressed with Chinese gadgetry â including a pair of leg cuffs that help the dance-challenged â and with scenes set in the sleek urban landscape of Shanghai, itâs hard not to see a broader point: India, donât be afraid of Chinaâs accomplishments. Be yourself. You will succeed."

Gothamist

The Pervert's Guide to Cinema, originally broadcast in 2006 as a BBC miniseries, is a documentary featuring "rock star" film critic Slavoj Å½iÅ¾ek's musings on the hidden meanings in movies. <a href="http://www.villagevoice.com/2009-01-14/film/the-pervert-s-guide-to-cinema-is-slavoj-142-i-158-ek-at-his-most-accessible/">Vadim Rizov at the Village Voice</a> says the "basic premises are pretty standard (cinema as a fantasy-based true mirror of the human id; viewers' complicity in granting the screen the power to move them), but the details are fun."

Gothamist

Three nights of midnight screenings of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie kick off tonight <a href="http://www.landmarktheatres.com/Films/films_frameset.asp?id=693">at the Sunshine</a>.

Gothamist

First released in 1973, Alejandro Jodorowskyâs visionary film The Holy Mountain has grown into a cult classic for its surreal, psychedelic imagery and a serpentine, metaphysical storyline, which takes as inspiration, among other things, "The Ascent of Mt. Carmel" by St. John of the Cross and the idea of a mountain uniting heaven and earth. This weekend the IFC Center again <a href="http://www.ifccenter.com/event?eventid=999852">screens it at midnight</a>.

Gothamist

Weekend Movie Forecast: <em>Notorious, My Bloody Valentine 3D</em>