NY Times theater critic Ben Brantley flew to London with his claws out to see the premiere of the sequel to Phantom of the Opera, and his bitchy pan doesn't disappoint. Set in Coney Island and titled Love Never Dies, the production is such a pretentious, boring mess that Andrew Lloyd Webber "might as well have a 'kick me' sign pasted to his backside... This poor sap of a show feels as eager to be walloped as a clown in a carnival dunking booth." But be AWARE; this isn't just London's problem: The spectacle is slated to open on Broadway in November, at which point we can look forward to more satisfying critical derision—with any luck the reviews will be as entertaining as the scathing Young Frankenstein pans of 2007!