The NYC Subway Needs Its Own Mascot. We Have 12 Contenders

Update, Friday January 31st: It's down to the final four subway mascots: Pizza Rat, Trashy, Crab of Chaos & Dagbog The Bag Dog. Vote below before Monday:

Bedbug scares. Recurring rush hour delays. Water main breaks wrecking entire lines. Power struggles between Albany and the city. Inaccessible stations. Fare increases and ongoing service cuts. Rats. There are tons of things about our beloved mass transit system that infuriate and upset us on a daily basis. Every time the MTA takes one step forward—like with the ambitious Fast Forward plan—there's another step back, like last week when well-liked NYCT President Andy Byford abruptly resigned, reportedly because of frustrations over Cuomo reducing his responsibilities.

To try to improve relations between the organization and its users, the MTA has deployed courtesy campaigns and “honest” delay announcements; partnered with celebrities; added new signage and more real-time train information; and even employed a team on Twitter to respond to customer complaints and questions as they roll in. Still, it doesn't seem to have shifted the mostly negative perception of the MTA that locals have. It seems like the MTA has run through every possible public relations idea in the book...except one: a mascot.

It seems so obvious, doesn't it? Multiple studies have concluded that mascots help strengthen brands and make them more personable. (The Yankees should have never destroyed Dandy!) Mr. Met is often the only positive thing that Mets fans have to hold onto during the down seasons. Gritty is a scamp who has brought the most goodwill to Philly since Rocky (well, maybe not). Why doesn't the MTA have their own costumed icon, one which they could roll out to help smooth things over with customers on the platform whenever a problem happened? Someone that could go to press events, mess with reporters, and do outreach with children. Someone who could become the face of the MTA.

To help them with that, Gothamist and illustrator Matt Lubchansky have come up with sketches for 12 possible subway mascots that could be used to distract people from the problems of the subway, or at least provide a happy, and/or adorable, and/or unforgettable face to make our transit system seem cuter and more relatable. Some of them are animals, and some of them are superheroes; some of them are based on already-existing characters, and some of them are clearly attempts to grab the zeitgeist. All of them are beautiful freaks.

Check out all 12 designs below, plus a little background on the concepts behind them. And while it's unclear whether the MTA will actually pull the trigger on any of them, let us know in the comments which ones you like the most.

First up, the MTA should embrace the viral fame of pizza rat, arguably the most famous rat in NYC history, by trademarking The Original Pizza Rat™. To capture the je ne sais vermin, this costume features a rat whose head is bursting (with excitement!) through a slice of pizza. Who wouldn't want to grab a selfie—or a discarded slice–with this guy?!

Here's Trashy, which would be the MTA's attempt at reverse-engineering their own Gritty. Unlike that mysterious, wild-eyed creature, Trashy's backstory is far easier to comprehend: it is a trash monster made out of typical subway detritus, grown in the bowels of the sewers. It is cute, it is a little naughty, and it is definitely pro-recycling.

Who doesn't love to see a dog on the subway? But even very good pups need to be in bags to ride trains. Dagbog, The Bag Dog is here to remind everyone about that little rule and spread some good cheer. Give him a pet under the ear—just don't call 911 on him!

Wondering where your train is? Wondering why the countdown clock has read 10 minutes for the last half hour? You're not alone! Here comes Countdown Clarke, the adorable countdown clock who is still learning how to tell time. When trains are super delayed, he'll be there to keep you company.

Bedhead B-Train is an alternate idea for a mascot who could cheer people up when trains are delayed. And he is the very essence of relatable: Uh oh, he woke up 20 minutes late for work again! Uh oh, he forgot to put his fancy costume together ahead of time! Uh oh, he has no time to shower in the morning! He really is just like us.

The MTA has a lot of rules, but nobody wants to read through all of that fine print. What if the MTA instead deployed a mascot who could explain all the rules to people in person? Enter: Rulesy, The Incredible Living Rules Of Conduct Book! Look, not every idea is a winner.

One of the most irritating and persistent subway etiquette problems is that of excessive backpacks. To deal with inconsiderate people who are taking up too much space, we need the heroic The Knap-Sacker, who literally sacks people who wear backpacks on trains.

If The Knap-Sacker turns out to be too much of an insurance liability issue, what with all the sacking, here's an alternative idea. New Yorkers don't want to be scolded, or physically restrained, into following subway etiquette. Meet the sinister Count Spreadlington, a villain, ala The Noid, who could demonstrate negative subway behavior (manspreading, pole-leaning, spitting, etc) as a way to show people what NOT to do.

With OMNY scanners going up at stations throughout the system left and right, the MTA should try to put a friendly face on these dystopian machines. Don't be scared, that's just OMNY, The Friendly Monster. He has a taste for credit cards, not human blood!

Brooklyn Borough President Eric Adams introduced a “cutting-edge” rat-killing device—part bait trap, part drowning tank—known as the Ekomille a few months back. Everyone was kinda grossed out about it...but what if it caught on? If MTA was forced to design a possible mascot in the unlikely case these rat traps were approved and deployed throughout the subway system, we give them permission to use Chef Rat.

Before resigning last week, New York City Transit President Andy Byford had become the most beloved (and recognizable) MTA employee in the city. So it made total sense to try to harness Train Daddy's popularity into a mascot—one inspired in part by the cutest creature in all the galaxy, Baby Yoda. Sadly, it seems like we'll never get to see Baby Byford in action now.

And last but not least, we have the Crab Of Chaos, truly the wildcard of this bunch. It would be deployed only in times of true derangement and confusion, like when nobody can possibly explain how a bunch of crabs ended up on a train. Sometimes one must embrace the chaos—which is exactly when Crab Of Chaos will appear.

In addition to those costumes, here's a list of some of the rejected ideas that didn't make it past the ideas stage:

• Farrah The Fare Increaser: She would have been designed ala a Disney Princess, only with a wand that makes fares go up. Perhaps involving a "lean in/swipe in" catchphrase.
• Confucius The Confused Pigeon: Confused about which line you should be taking? Don't worry, Confucius The Confused Pigeon can help.
• Gari The Green Goop: Gari is to be employed specifically in situations where customers come into contact with unknown liquids. "Don't be scared of the goop, it's just Gari, the patron saint of unidentified substances!" Unfortunately, no one was sure how to make a costume that looked like goop.
• The Man Shredder: An R-rated mascot who has chainsaw hands and goes around "cutting off" manspreaders' legs. May be considered "too real" by some within the agency.
• Pizza Rag: Like Pizza Rat but a rag, get it?
• Andrew Cuomo: A heroic, life-sized costume of the governor of New York, complete with comically enlarged biceps and six pack, who sweeps in to fix any problem on the subway, except for the ones he caused. It was nixed because even Cuomo's mascot apparently refused to ride the subway.