Comedian Liam McEneaney has been blogging for over five years. In that time he's been on Best Week Ever, Premium Blend, and started his weekly show Tell Your Friends, which can be seen every Monday at 8 for free at the Lolita Bar and features talent from the likes of Conan O'Brien, the Onion, and Comedy Central. If that's not reason enough to check out Liam, perhaps this interview is.
I read that when you started doing comedy, you weighed over 400 pounds. How did you lose the weight?
About nine years ago, I as walking down West 11th street when I spotted a VHS cassette poking out of a garbage can. I always take VHS cassettes from garbage cans because I'm convinced I'm going to find someone's homemade porn someday.
Anyway, it wasn't homemade porn, but it did have a handwritten label: "WORKOUT FROM THE COSMOS!!!" I took it home and it was the craziest thing I'd ever seen - homemade in some woman's tiny Manhattan living room with the camera set up in a corner. In the middle of the floor on a mat, a hippy-looking middle-aged woman in a leotard. In the background, a guy who looked like Ravi Shankar's grandfather playing the sitar.
She would lead these aerobic exercises, but because the apartment was so small, whenever the exercise called for kicking or lunging, she would hit her furniture and walls. Hard. Meanwhile, the sitar droned in the background, and the music only stopped for the old guy to croak out some nugget of "wisdom" like, "Your soul is only as strong as your weakest muscle," and then go right back into playing.
At first I laughed and laughed and laughed, but then I decided what the hell, perhaps that tape was put in my hands for a good reason. So I started working out to this insane tape. And as soon as I lost 120 pounds, the tape broke. There weren't any credits or anything on the tape, so I have no idea who made it, and Googling didn't find anything.
I thought I saw the old guy eating at a restaurant once, but how do you approach someone about their hilarious workout tape you found while rooting through their garbage?
Did you notice that people treated you differently before and after you lost the weight? If so, how?
I think I was at my heaviest right before obesity became a national epidemic, before it became kind of a socially acceptable thing to be. Because I started out comedy so young and so heavy, I got condescended to quite a bit, which stopped as I grew older and thinner.
I also think I got booked onto some shows less for my comic ability and more for the sheer spectacle of seeing someone as wide as myself maneuver his way onstage. I had a guy try to audition me in a Titanic parody film his friend was producing called "Gigantic." It never got past the concept stage, thankfully. There's a lot of casual cruelty inflicted on heavier folks.
How has the experience of being overweight effected your comedy and your worldview?
As for how it affected my comedy - When I was a kid, I would watch all the standup shows - A&E's Comedy on the Road, Caroline's Comedy Hour, all those. I saw a comedian with two hooks for hands, angriest comedian I've ever seen. But he just got onstage, hooked his hands to the mic stand, and did his act without ever referencing it. Funny fucking guy, as far as I can remember from 20 years ago.
But my point is, I decided it was cool that he never mentioned the thing that you first noticed; that he had hooks for hands. And I decided that I would purposefully not put that into my act, except in roundabout ways. Also, I figured that at some point I'd lose the weight, and then where would my act be?
As for how it's affected my worldview, I'm convinced that women aren't attracted to me, and will always reject me. It actually helps me avoid one of the big pitfalls of socializing in the comedy world, where everyone is insecure and drinking and immature - hooking up with other comedians. Happens all the time, and thanks to my inability to see myself as desirable, I tend to avoid being more than just friends with female comics.
Which is good; I hooked up with a woman doing comedy in another state, and when she found out that I wasn't interested in a deeply committed long-distance relationship, she came after me with a pen knife, tried to stab me in the throat. I ended up outside a motel at three in the morning in my boxers in the rain in bare feet, screaming at her. Then the cops came.
There was whiskey involved, and she apologized via e-mail a few weeks later.
What sort of day-jobs have you worked in the past that didn't pertain to comedy?
I've been pretty lucky, not having to work too many non-comedy jobs. When I was 17, I worked getting autographs on guitars - ended up stalking Eric Clapton outside the Mayfair Hotel. My boss was pissed at me, because Van Morrison walked past me, and he was so old I didn't recognize him. It was a great deal for me - I got paid twenty dollars an hour, cash, off the books, to hang out all night.
What role has your blog played in your development as a comedian?
It definitely helps that I have a deadline to write every day. It's a little bit of pressure to sit down and write something funny for an audience.
Nowadays, every open mic'er with dreams of getting a "Live at Gotham" spot has a blog, but when I first started five years ago, having a blog was such a novel thing that it earned you a lot of respect with bookers and other comedians. There were paid gigs that I got booked for strictly off of having a particularly funny entry that had been forwarded around a bunch of times.
What are some projects that you're currently involved in or contemplating?
I'm working on a pitch with my friend Roger Hailes for a three-camera sitcom called "Hailes to the Chief" - the premise is that the Democratic candidate for President is also named Roger Hailes, and when THAT Roger Hailes dies, Roger is accidentally elected President. I can't tell you too much more, except that a chimp named Bubbles is accidentally sworn in as Vice President during a Rose Garden ceremony gone hilariously awry, and Roger spends a lot of time dealing with his shenanigans.
Now for some New York questions. Please share your strangest "only in New York" story.
I was on Delancey once, on the way to the Lolita Bar for my Monday night show Tell Your Friends!, just as a NY CORRECTIONS bus - a schoolbus with grates on the side blocking the windows painted in the NYPD white-and-blue - pulled up to stop at the light. There was a crowd of urchins hanging out on the street, and a voice from the Corrections bus yelled to one of the kids, "Hey you!"
A little Hispanic kid looked around and the Voice said, "Yeah you! Come here!"
The Hispanic kid looked around again, and the Voice shouted, "Come here, faggot!"
The little Hispanic kid kind of awkwardly stood there not moving, and the Voice shouted, "Well fuck you, fucking faggot!"
At that point, the little Hispanic kid got into a half crouch and screamed, "You gonna get RAPED!"
To which his friends started laughing, and a half-second later, the bus exploded in laughter, so loud you could barely hear the Voice screaming, "Fuck you bitch."
A girl then shouted "Don't drop the soap!" Causing more laughter all around.
Then the light turned green and the bus rolled away, forcing me to miss what I imagined swas the sound of more merriment drowned out by the gentle hum of tasers.
Which New Yorker do you most admire?
It's probably trite, but I do admire much about Woody Allen. Whatever you think of him as a person (and this being NYC, everyone has an opinion), he's taken the art of comedy as far as it can go in every direction. Great writer, performer, and director.
Under what circumstance have you thought about leaving New York?
Obviously, if I had work in LA, I'd go. I've also thought that if a huge chunk of money fell into my lap, I'd move to Austin for a year and write that novel I'm itching to write. Also, I'm going to Europe for a while at the end of the year. It's still in the planning stages, but you can check out my dates as I book them at: liamabroad.blogspot.com
Given the opportunity, how would you change New York?
One big crime-wave, hopefully when I'm out of town. Just to get rid of the shitty rich-kid NYU students, stockbrokers, and Yuppies, all of whom are inflating real estate prices in a ridiculous way.
What's your idea of a perfect day of recreation in New York?
Anything that involves making out with a pretty girl is pretty much okay by me.
Check out Liam's blog at Kidliam.blogspot.com and don't forget to visit the Lolita Bar at 266 Broome Street, Mondays at 8 for some terrific free comedy.
