...And there it was: the Mad Men Season 5 premiere just finished, the spoiler embargo is over, America wins again! Since we got a sneak peek at the episode (501/502 "A Little Kiss"), we put together a Gchat review to discuss how much we loved shirtless Don shaving, Sneaky Pete, Joan's baby, the Draper honeymoon, Bean Ballet...and the lack of Betty. Whether you're drunk as Duck Phillips or sober as Freddy Rumsen, tell us what you thought of Horny Lane and Don's new cane in the comments below.
John Del Signore: I'll start by saying I was really worried when this episode started, because there was a lot of Don's daughter in that first scene... but then that was it for her! She freaks me out. And NO January Jones, right? HIGH FIVE.
Jen Carlson: Sally is fine! It's Glen that's creepy, and he's only on the show because he's Matthew Weiner's kid.
JDS: Glen rocked. He's one of the most interesting characters on the show, and he got such a bad rep from craaaazy Betty.
Ben Yakas:Weiner said Betty was out of a lot of this season because of her real-life pregnancy, but her storyline has become so tertiary to the rest of the show with her divorce from Don—no, we're not that invested in whether Betty has the capacity to feel any joy in life, at this point.
JC: She really peaked when she shot those pigeons.
BY: I like the fact that the premiere spent most of the time around the office. As with much of season 4, work has taken center stage in the lives of the main characters (with the soap opera-y stuff coloring in the margins).
JC: I guess the only real secret that was being kept was that Megan and Don are married when we catch up with them. I will high five to no Betty (yet), but I am unsure about how I feel about Megan.
JDS: Yeah I was hot and cold on Megan in this episode. She was kind of being a pill, but then Don really was such a dick to her after the party.
BY: "Dick" Whitman indeed.
BY: And Megan knows about Dick Whitman! That's a big deal. She tried to casually joke with him about it, which made him very grumpy.
JC: And now that she knows his big secret, he's stuck with her. That is like poking holes in condoms, mid century-style. Look in husband's secret, locked box of photos and letters.
JDS: GOOD POINT. Ha, he's doomed. And outside the office, how about Don's apartment? And how good he looks at 40 with his shirt off shaving? In show-biz, that's called "wish fulfillment."
JC: (This is the 3rd time JDS has mentioned shirtless Don shaving today, for those keeping score.)
JDS: Question: that sex scene on the rug in Don's apartment: Weird or hot, in a Blue Velvet sort of way?
BY: Hot, but not sure how it bodes for their marriage. As the show has established several times over, Don likes the idea of things more than the reality. He likes beginnings more than the long run.
JC: We should have invited a psychologist to join us to deconstruct that scene. It was WEIRD. Anyway, marriage never means anything to Don, he can still sleep with whoever he wants.
BY: That scene also definitely touched upon that cryptic pre-season image of Don staring into a Manhattan storefront with a nude mannequin. But he does still have that newlywed glow for much of the episode—Alan Sepinwall called it "Stepford Don."
JC: And he makes that comment to Peggy, "you don't know her," before that sex scene. He seems to know her, he knew she would respond to the roleplaying.
BY: We should all be glad there was no finger banging in that Megan seduction scene. There was a moment before the party when it seemed really possible. Thankfully, miserably depressed (and yet still hilarious) Roger was there.
JC: (This is the 8th time a Gothamist male staffer has brought up fingerbanging this week, for those keeping score.) [Editor's note: An exaggeration, but we did write about Sticky's Finger Joint opening.]
JDS: Favorite moment: Don standing up from his desk in the middle of the day and announcing "I'm done for the day!".... Like I said, WISH FULFILLMENT. Show biz!
BY: How do you feel about Joan's baby story, and her horny mom? I guess Roger really doesn't know it's his kid...I guess that's bound to come out eventually.
JC: The domestic storylines are usually pretty boring, we all want Joan back in the office, right?
BY: Yeah, even Joan wants that!
JC: I actually had forgotten it was Roger's baby, until that one scene where he first sees her/him. I liked the scene where she basically tells the secretary she's jealous of Peggy.
BY: Speaking of which, Peggy wasn't given a whole lot to do this episode besides "be frustrated with work."
JC: Yeah, I think they're setting it up for more "Peggy living in the shadows of Don" drama. She's dating that guy now, the journalist, who seems heavily involved in the 1960s counterculture, so you know, he's probably filling her head with lots of crazy ideas about raises, promotions, and leaving the agency for something more fulfilling.
Joan is separated from the men...BY A WALL OF SEXISM. Oh, hi Peggy! (Frank Ockenfels 3/AMC)
JDS: I loved how (Sneaky) Pete Campbell is sort of living like Don now—even his house, and the way he enters it going straight for a cabinet, was Draperesque.
BY: Yeah, it's only a matter of time before he starts sleeping around or stealing people's identities.
JDS: Except Sneaky Pete was pounding cereal instead of bourbon.
JDS: Final thoughts: If January Jones wasn't at the NYSE, I'd be optimistic that we were done with her forever. But if we have to put up with episodes of her glumly riding horses around Osinning or wherever again in the future, I'm putting on my Delocated DVD.
JC: I just hope Don's honeymoon phase ends soon and we see the return of Midge (#TeamMidge) or at the very least the return of anonymous one night stands. I want to see him happy doing what he does best: chain smoking, whisky swilling, and sleeping around.
BY: Mad Men's greatest trick: almost nothing happened in the premiere (Lane was horny?)—yet I was on the edge of my seat throughout. There's no other TV show that so readily withholds information and plot, conjures up an uneasy atmosphere, and still enthralls on a consistent basis.
JC: I can't believe we didn't talk about the Bean Ballet.
JDS: (crickets)
JDS: You sound like Peggy. Is that mean?
BY: That campaign was so ill-conceived.
JDS: And then she blames Don? THEY CAME IN OVER THE TRANSOM. I'm over Peggy.
JC: Well, I have been drinking during this Gchat. "I shouldn't drink during work functions." - Peggy Olson.
BY: Peggy needs to realize that not every idea she spits out is PURE EMOTIONAL GENIUS.
JC: You guys realize the only women in this show you come across as liking are the ones in their Sears bras crawling on the floor of Don's apartment?
