During my childhood I grew up idolizing two people: Hulk Hogan and my father. One was a burly man's man with a great mustache and a true sense of patriotism; the other was my favorite professional wrestler ever. They both preached the same credo: "Train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, be true to yourself, be true to your country…be a real American." Those ideals guided my life's principles and also led me to sit in the 7th row of the Beacon Theatre at "Hulk Hogan: Uncensored" and listen to the Hulkster carry on about how "Superstar" Billy Graham was his biggest inspiration and how much he enjoyed paving the way for wrestling to become the mainstream Wrestlemania phenomenon that it is today. But despite Hogan's exceptional, 12-time WWF World Champion record in the ring, he didn't survive the "three count" on stage.
To begin with, every Hulkamaniac wants to experience Hulk making his entrance backed by his signature "Real American" theme music. Instead, he casually emerged from backstage to his recent rip-off "American Made" version of the song and placidly waved to the crowd. No shirt-ripping, no American flag unfurling and not even a single python bared. Strike one.
The Hulk, his co-host producer Eric Bischoff, and former WCW ring announcer Dave Penzer wanted to relish on the past. The barely 25% capacity crowd in attendance at the Beacon had other ideas in mind, screaming digs about his ex-wife Linda and generally interrupting the "interview" to inject their unsolicited opinions. While the obviously scripted stories that were meant to be told were told, the disruptive crowd and marginally interested participants seriously compromised any gravitas to the evening. There were more comments about Hogan's personal life than his epic bouts with Andre the Giant, Randy Savage or the Ultimate Warrior. Strike two.
While I appreciated the "up-close and personal" time I got to spend with the man formerly known as Terry Bollea, I feel like searching "Mean Gene" and other clips would have been more fulfilling. Sitting on my couch and watching the decade's-old promos gets me more fired up than I was all night sitting within 15 yards of the real deal. The lack of energy and fortitude was the third strike that put this evening down for the count.
When Hogan gave the rote "anything is possible" when asked if he would consider getting back in the ring, it didn't have any heart. As one of his biggest fans, I can only hope that Hulk leaves us with the YouTube videos and sex tapes memories.
John Maceda loves all New York sports but wishes that didn't include the Jets.
