We found out yesterday that a nice apartment goes a long way when trying to have sex with a lady. No discerning metropolitan woman will dare engage in coitus with a gentleman who has less than 15 windows, and having an elevator that opens up into your loft is the same as if you had volunteered at the Boys & Girls club for a decade: it makes you sensitive and sexy. But one man stood out of the group of "multimillionaire financiers" and real estate moguls featured in the Post's story: comedian Jim Norton. Surely there was more to his apartment than fancy windows and a "state of the art kitchen" (besides the semen stains).
Does Norton think that he's ruining his apartment-seduction game by publicizing it? "I doubt it," he tells Gothamist via email, "because let's be honest; any woman who is going to sleep with me is probably not a big reader. And if herpes hasn't ruined my game, the Post article doesn't have a chance." In regard to the real estate broker who flat-out claimed that his expensive apartments "often fulfill the void people have in their life," Norton agrees: "The apartment is one of many void fillers. It's in there with comedy, junk food, getting photos with celebrities, and a pretty impressive prostitution habit. That's pretty much what my life is: a never-ending, void-filling activities."
Norton's windows get top billing in the story, but he says "women love my couch, because it's comfy and they can stretch out as the succinylcholine kicks in." Does he have a fancy shower? A bidet? "My shower is fairly nondescript, unless you count the hours of solo activity that take place in it. And I do have a bidet, which also doubles as an eyewash station." Norton says the one thing that would make his apartment more conducive to lovemaking is "A man who's in shape and doesn't suffer from erection difficulties."
