When we started doing this weekend blogging thing way back in July we knew, we just knew, that if we stuck with it long enough eventually Denton would notice and maybe give us some blog-company to play with on the weekend (no offense to you, our fair readers, but it can get very lonely here on the weekend web). But we had no. Fucking. Idea.
Seems Denton has gone totally batshit and given the keys to Gawker to the Stern with Two First Names for the weekend, officially making the Page Six Payola Scandal one of thee most bizarre media cluster fucks of all time (aside: The movie is going to be awesome! We're thinking Skeet Ulrich as Jared?).
So we've decided to do what any "blogger" worth a nickel would in such a situation. We're gonna liveblog it. Without further ado, "Gawking at Jared Paul Stern's Gawker™":
The Announcement: The end is nigh.
POST 1: JPS is arrived. We kinda thought that this was going to be a weekend of J Paul writing the Gawk. But we guess we were wrong, we guess we all were. If this post is any sign, this is just going to be a weekend of JPS going after Ron Burkle. Which could be, we must admit, interesting.
But Jared, trust us, these weekends get long. You better send Snookums out for some more booze for your bars, cause a fifth of Beam just ain't going to cut it.
POST 2: Yup, JPS seems a little focused on this Ron Burkle guy (huh, anybody know what that is all about?). And he's quoting Toby Young. Yes, Toby How to Lose Friends and Alienate People Young. Why? Oh, yeah. Toby has got a new book coming out...
POST 3: Next up, JPS goes after the "silly bitch" from Marky Mark's Planet of the Apes over a quote she made in the late Boldface Names. Jared Paul, the Boldface corpse is barely cold. Let it rest in peace, k?
POST 4: Already cracking under the strain of having to put posts up all day Stern resorts to old faithful, the roundup. We wonder how long till we get a plug for the polo shirts? Oh, nevermind. Anyway, since this weekend is 'All About Jared' (seriously, JPS in Post 1: "fasten your seatbelts.") we get a roundup of coverage of Jared and maybe something about that Burkle guy, too. Thanks for the shout-out JPS!
POST 5: As far as posts about the connections between the Clintons, Anthony Pelicano and maybe some other people go, this one doesn't suck?
POST 6: Gisele and Burkle, eh? Bored now.
What, weekends are too good for remainders Jared?
DAY 2!
POST 7: "Baste the Billionaire in oil and turn the stove" blah, blah, blah, blah. You've had the keys to the castle for a day now, Jared Paul, when are we going to get the good stuff?
We love this exchange though: "And, just in case you were wondering, yes I can tell who's really posting the Comments. I am, after all, the Editor." Followed up in the comments by Denton chiming in "Um, actually, commenters are anonymous, if they want to be. I am, after all, the publisher." OH, snap!
DEVELOPING!
