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- Because it's a busy day in books, a forthcoming title surfaces new sexual misconduct claims against President Donald Trump, including that time he allegedly lurked behind a tapestry at Mar-a-Lago in order to grab a passing woman and pull her in for a forcible kiss.
- Joe Biden has officially called for Trump's impeachment, are you surprised?
- Aliens, obviously, have been preying upon Eastern Oregon's cows, surgically removing their balls and tongues before siphoning all the blood from their bovine bodies.
- Maybe some of us really are lizard people. Or salamander people, at least.
- Dick's Sporting Goods reportedly destroyed $5 million worth of semiautomatic rifles after the Parkland shooting.
- Apparently Virgin Airlines has its own antiquated, in-flight messaging system that enables customers to hit on their fellow travelers, and/or send flirtatious, quite possibly unwanted drinks to other seats.
- You, yes YOU, could be the proud new owner of the sweater Kurt Cobain wore on MTV's Unpluggged, provided you abide by the auction house's one rule and never ever wash it: "The stains are still there. There’s even cigarettes burns that you can see on the sweater.”
- A family vacationing in South Carolina caught 44 pounds of cocaine at the beach.
- Soon you may be able to buy yourself a hair hat designed by the country's foremost wig expert, Dolly Parton.
- And finally, do something nice for your dog this Halloween, huh?
Published Oct 9, 2019
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