Future President of the United States and walking Hair Club for Men advertisement Donald Trump was roasted last night at the Hammerstein Ballroom as part of Comedy Central's Roast series. Like its stuffier Friars Club cousin, these events gather top-shelf comedic talent to tastelessly and mercilessly skewer an easy target. Careful guys, he's packing!
Trump is the second celebrity to have his roast hosted by Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane (the first was The Hoff) while comedians Jeffery Ross, Lisa Lampanelli, and Anthony Jeselnik were tapped to stoke the coals. Also present: random celebrities who provide the talent additional fodder; in this case it was Larry King, Snoop Dogg, Rihanna, and Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who not-so-shockingly "bombed" his bit. Here are some gems that have leaked out—warning, some of this material may be offensive:
- MacFarlane: "He opposes abortion, which makes sense, because that's his next wife he may be killing" (MacFarlane also apparently made a joke about a golden shower then followed up with a 9/11 reference.)
- Lisa Lampanelli to Larry King: "Don't worry, Larry. It's almost over. I'm not talking about the Roast."
- Lampanelli to Snoop Dogg: "Snoop, if you need to make more purple Kool-Ade the colored fountain is over there."
- Marlee Matlin on The Situation: "Like the Situation, I too have never heard the sound of laughter."
- Jeffrey Ross to Lisa Lampanelli: "Lisa's vagina is so beat up, its nickname is Rihanna."
- Snoop: "I'd love to fuck one of Trump's ex-wives, so I would know what it's like to cum into money."
Trump will donate the $2 million he was paid to appear to charity, and took advantage of the exposure to discuss his presidential ambitions: "We are really thinking about it. I'm going to make a determination by June." He shouldn't count on an endorsement from Snoop: "Would I vote for him against Obama? Hell, no!"
The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump airs next Tuesday at 10:30 p.m.
