Bravo, the network that has a seemingly endless supply of Real Housewives liquored up and ready to complain about interior decorating at the drop of a hat, is premiering its latest reality series next Monday: Summer House, otherwise known as Montauk's answer to Jersey Shore. Local residents, as you can probably imagine, are not looking forward to it.
According to Bravo, Summer House follows the adventures of "a group of beautiful and successful New Yorkers [who] leave the comforts of the Big Apple behind to party the summer away in their home away from home"—and "nothing is off limits." Montauk residents have spent years trying to fight off the fornicating yupster bros who have invaded their paradise in the pursuit of nakedly cavorting outside every sleepy tackle shop in sight. But their efforts to ward off these interlopers will likely be undermined by this series.
"Everyone's heard of the Hamptons. That's like, your mom's friend who wears pearls," cast member Kyle Cooke says in the trailer. "My group of friends, we go to Montauk. Montauk is like, your mom's friend's daughter who's a little promiscuous—and by a little, I mean a lot."
"It's not very popular in this town," reiki practitioner and Montauk resident Linda Knips told the Times. "This has become a town associated with coming to party. The show amplifies that. That's not the real town."
Summer House follows nine friends as they, in Bravo's words "maneuver love and life, as well as a good time in between all the drama in their summer share." Among the drama: someone put bananas in the fridge and like, who does that? The Wirkus sisters need to get eight hours of sleep or else. Also, people get drunk and hook up a lot. Judging on the trailer alone, Summer House is a reality show about the least interesting people in the world.
And on top of all that, it isn't even set in Montauk, according to some locals.
According to the Times, the house is "at the far edge of a 1,755-acre state park," and the only way to get there involves crossing the Long Island Railroad tracks north of Montauk Highway—the Times also notes that the most expensive houses in the Hamptons are south of the highway. Technically, the house is in East Hampton, but "it is far from what most Hamptonites think of as East Hampton."
"The town of East Hampton prohibited them from doing any filming on public property, and then they approached many businesses and were rejected by many of them," Laurie Creegan, executive director of the Montauk Chamber of Commerce, told Newsday. And since the show wasn't set in Montauk, locals want Bravo to drop all references to the town in their promotional materials.
"We don't need that kind of publicity. We're trying to bring families to Montauk," Creegan said.
But if for some reason you want to drop upwards of 40 grand to live like the bros and brolettes of Summer House the actual Summer House™ is available for rent starting in June.
