Say what you will about the architects of the financial crisis who continue to cackle with impunity over the prostrate body of American Capitalism, at least their instruments of destruction were mathematical abominations, not sublime works of art. Today the Times has a lengthy piece on how art galleries flout state law and refuse to list their prices, while auction houses deceive customers with bogus bids to maintain a market that generates $8 billion every year.

"The art world feels like the private equity market of the ’80s and the hedge funds of the ’90s. It’s got practically no oversight or regulation," one "collector and financier" with a roman numeral after his surname says. Not so, claims Jane Levine, senior VP at Sotheby's: “People like to say that the art market is unregulated. Nothing could be further from the truth. There are bespoke auction rules that cover this very tiny market that actually do govern the auction process.”

Among those "bespoke auction rules" (which are traditionally wrapped in cheesecloth and sold by a man named Artemis out of a wood-paneled pushcart built by Franciscan friars) is the practice of "chandelier bidding," or having people pretend to bid in order to drive up the starting price past the minimum amount that will be accepted by the seller.

For two decades some New York State lawmakers have been trying to curb the practice known as “chandelier bidding,” a bit of art-market theater in which auctioneers begin a sale by pretending to spot bids in the room. In reality the auctioneers are often pointing at nothing more than the light fixtures.

“The time has come to give up this fiction that there are actual real bidders,” said David Nash, a gallery owner who spent 35 years as a top executive with Sotheby’s.

Luckily for auction houses there is no talk of banning Accidental Yawning Guy, who is tired and just needs to sit down and stretch for a moment—what are all these people doing here, is that a Rothko? So tired *YAWN* What just happened?!

Or Indecent Proposal Dude, who just wants his wife back, can't we just end this right now? Fine, you wanna go, Redford? Let's g—ohhhh my God I just bought Piss Christ and I can't even afford the cab I took here CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY WIFE BACK?!

Galleries come off as being slightly less evil but still snobbish for not posting prices next to their wares, as is required by state law. A gallery hasn't been cited for the offense since 1988.

But the pricing law is enforced against other retailers. The Adry Furniture Corporation of Brooklyn, for example, was fined $500 in 2011 for failing to display prices for a red stool and an end table.

Dealers said posting prices on valuable works in an open gallery creates security concerns and disrupts an exhibition’s aesthetics by transforming artworks into commodities.

“We consider it tacky to do that,” Richard L. Feigen, a longtime dealer, said.

You can read about how utterly insane the art market is from people who won't reference Woody Harrelson's career here and here.